Shower etiquette...

My friend sent me this email about the diferences between men and women taking showers which I totally had to share with you all (the 3 people that read this blog!!??). It is originaly in Spanish so I will try to do my best with the translation (versions are side to side)

HOW DO WOMEN SHOWER
COMO SE BAÑA LA MUJER

1. They take their clothes off and place them in the hamper.
Se quita la ropa y la coloca en la cesta de la ropa sucia.

2. They walk to the shower with their bath robe on. If they see their husband or boyfriend on, they cover up and tippy toes to the bathroom swiftly.
Camina hacia la ducha con su bata de baño. Si ve a su marido o novio en el camino, se tapa bien el cuerpo y sale corriendo en puntas hacia el baño.

3. Sits in front of the mirror and inspects her body. Pushes out a belly so she can complain of how "fat" she looks.
Se para frente al espejo y detalla su físico. Saca la barriga para poder quejarse más de lo gorda que esta.

4. Goes in the shower, looks for her face cloth, the foamy stuff for her arms and legs, the loufa for her back and the pomes stone.
Se mete en la bañera, busca el pañito para la cara, la espumita para los brazos y las piernas, el cepillo de la espalda y la piedra pómez.

5. Washes her hair with herbal/honey shampoo that contains 83,000 vitamins in it.
Lava su pelo con Shampoo de hierbas y miel con 83.000 vitaminas.

6. Washes her hair, again with herbal/honey shampoo that contains 83,000 vitamins in it.
Vuelve a lavar el pelo con Shampoo de hierbas y miel con 83.000 vitaminas.

7. Applies herbal/honey conditioner and leaves it on for 15 mins.
Se aplica acondicionador de pelo de hierbas y miel y se lo deja por 15 mins.

8. Gently washes her face with a mix of peach, oatmeal and sugar for 10 mins.
Se lava la cara con una mezcla de durazno, avena y azucar por 10 min.

9. Washes the rest of her body with a natural oil (nuts and strawberies) soap and a glove that supposeldy helps her lose weight.
Se lava el resto del cuerpo con jabón, aceites de nueces y fresas y un guante que supuestamente la hace bajar de peso.

10. Takes 10 minutes to wash off the conditioner, because she has to make sure that she's washed it all off.
Se quita el acondicionador del cabello durante 10 minutos porque tiene que estar segura de quitárselo todo.

11. Shaves her armpits and legs, considers shaving her bikini area but decides to use tweezers.
Se afeita las axilas y las piernas, considera afeitarse el area del bikini, pero decide depilarlo.

12. Shouts when somebody flushes the toilet and the water pressure goes down and the water gets colder.
Grita cuando alguien le baja el wc y la ducha pierde presión el agua caliente se enfría.

13. Turns the water off.
Cierra la regadera.

14. Dries off every single part of her body (while in the tub).
Se escurre todas las partes mojadas (dentro de la regadera).

15. Gets out of the shower and dries herself with a towel as big as Africa and America (combined).
Sale de la regadera y se seca con la toalla del tamaño de Africa y América juntas.

16. Puts another towel on her head
Se pone otra toalla en la cabeza.

17. Inspects every inch of her body - looking for any black heads, zits or any other impurities and attacks them with her nails or tweezers.
Se mira todo el cuerpo en busca de espinillas, barros y granos y los ataca con uñas y pinzas.

18. Returns to her room with the giant towel wrapped around, or with her bath robe, and a smaller towel that she uses to dry off her hair while walking to the room.
Regresa a la habitación con la gigante toalla envuelta en ella, o en su defecto con la bata, y otra toalla más pequeña con la que se va secando la cabeza camino a la habitación.

19. If she sees her husband or boyfriend she covers up and runs to the bedroom and takes 30 mins getting dressed (not counting the time taken changing her outfit) and another hour and a half putting makeup on.
Si vuelve a ver al marido o novio se tapa y sale corriendo para el cuarto, pasa hora y media vistiéndose sin contar los cambios de ropa que ha realizado, y otra hora y media maquillándose.

20. At last she looks at the mirror and whimpers: "I don't look good".
Al final se ve en el espejo y dice: 'no me veo bien.'

HOW DO MEN SHOWER
'COMO SE BAÑA EL HOMBRE'

1. Leaning over the bed, stretching and scratching his bals, he takes his clothes off and leaves them on the floor.
Sentado en la cama desperezándose y rascándose las verijas; se quita la ropa y la deja en el suelo.

2. Walks naked or in boxers to the bathroom - while scratching his butt... If he sees his wife, he sort of shows his..... and slaps her ass...
Va desnudo o en boxer al baño, rascándose una nalga... Si ve a su esposa o novia, le medio enseña 'el pajaro' y le pellizca o le da una palmada en una nalga.
3. Sits in front of the mirror and checks himself out - tucks his beer belly in, looks at the size of his..., scratches his balls and smells his hands afterwards. Ahhhhhh!!
Se para frente al espejo para ver su físico y mete la barriga, se ve el tamaño del pene en el espejo, se rasca las guevas y se huele las manos. !Aaahhhhh!

4. Washes his face with whatever he finds first - even if its shampoo.
Se lava la cara con lo primero que encuentra, así sea el shampoo.

5. Cracks up after hearing his fart going around the room.
Se caga de la risa y se oye cuando se tira tremendo pedo dentro de la ducha.

6. Washes his ass and leaves hair on the bar soap... really? how funny!
Se lava el trasero y deja los pelos en el jabón.... ¡Si no, que chiste!

7. Washes his hair with soap or shampoo and does not even think of using conditioner.
Se lava el pelo con jabón o shampoo y no usa acondicionador.

8. Uses his soap to spike up his hair just like a "PUNK" (Think Ferris Bueller in the shower!)
Se hace un peinado 'PUNK' con la espuma del jabón.

9. Opens the curtain or door to look at himself in the mirror and starts laughing!
Abre la cortina o la puerta para verse en el espejo y se caga de la risa.

10. Takes a long and steady piss trying to aim on the drain
Se tira reverenda MEADA en la regadera intentando atinarle al desague.

11. Gets all shampoo or soap off and gets out of the shower. Doesn't even notice that the whole bathroom floor is wet because he left the curtain/door open - Still doesn't care shit!
Se quita todo el shampoo o jabón y sale de la ducha. No se da cuenta que todo el baño esta mojado porque dejó la cortina por fuera de la regadera o la puerta medio abierta, igual le importa un culo.

12. He sorta dries off!
Medio se seca.

13. Looks at himself in the mirror, flexes his muscles makes faces and then laughs out loud while looking at the size of his penis to see it it's actually bigger.
Se ve otra vez en el espejo, saca músculos, hace cara de malo y luego de conquistador, se ríe y se mira el tamaño del pene para ver si ahora lo tiene más grande.

15. Leaves the shower curtain open and the rug all wet.
Deja la cortina abierta y la alfombra mojada.

16. Goes back to the bedroom with the smallest towell he can find around his waist. If he sees his wife or girlfriend he pretends his towel drops and shows her his "bird", slaps her again in the ass, she gets pissed and he just laughs it off.
Regresa al cuarto con una toallita en la cintura. Si ve a la esposa o novia hace como si se le cayera la toalla para enseñarle 'el pajaro' y le da otra nalgada, ella se enoja y él se muere de la risa.

17. Throws the towel on to the bed and takes 2 minutes to get dress by putting on the first thing he can find.
Tira la toalla mojada en la cama y se viste en 2 minutos con lo primero que encuentra.

18. Looks at himself in the mirror and says: God damn! What a good looking guy!
Se ve en el espejo y dice: Jueputa que man tan pinta.

AM I RIGHT OR NOT?
ES O NO ES...??